No Escape

Szépirodalom / Megtörve (558 katt) TwinOfOne
  2020.12.06.

I have nothing. I am nothing. I have no friends, I have no love. I have no luck. I am just a miserable little human with no goals. I have no future and my past is filled with regret and bad memories. My good memories are faded away and I don't feel them anymore. I forgot long time ago how to feel good. My positive emotions nearly non existent. I am lost and there is no way forward nor back. My dreams my hopes are shattered. So much time I heard: Love yourself and things become better. How? I hate myself... I hate how I look, how I speak, how I walk... I hate everything about myself. There is nothing special about me I am even worst than avarage. People said to me that I am handsome and smart... WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME? This is just a fucking lie... And they also told this: looks doesn't matter... Another lie... I have tried so many times to become better, to see the world a better place, but I have failed every time. How many times I need to try? How many times do I have to be disappointed? I gave up... No one is waiting for me, nothing is waiting for me. Have you ever heard about the Einstein quote? "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." I don't believe in any supernatural things, not even in God. Why? Because if God exists he is the most sadistic creature ever existed... I don't need to point to other people to know how hard is to be always the last one who don't get anything good in life or can't feel it anymore. My whole existence is an error. I needed to be erased from everyones' memory, and I am needed to be erased. There is no escape...

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